Friday, July 7, 2017

Posted Plastic

        Letting go of the flow to be taken up with the stream. Worry is no place for your feet unless its defeat you seek. She fears the mirror for its truth reflects her self deceit. Pointed fingers a coat rack. Fingered all who cross her path. Manipulating internal processors.

       Bent over backwards in show of ego. A broken mold adorned with gold. Not good enough to be enough. Affirmations of troubled past controls the egos path. As words of self deceit fly righteously. Painted fingers of pointed pasts aided by companion blasts with words of broken arrows. Dodged land mines only to find painted mirrors of colored lies and tied up life vines. Veils of hurt lined lips trips & splits into your air and clouds plume from deep in you. A fume stagnant, a pungent stench from which your lips slipped

Unforgiveness revealed in tone breaking every bone.  Unforgiveness very well known even when your all alone. Goddess of cant be blamed, its time to rise up and live again. Regrow your mane and stand in divinity once again in sovereignty..
                             
                                                FREELY with GOD in Thee!

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

THE SUN

In this moment of time fighting the climb. You said it's hard? You who's never been anything but blue. I've left you in the valley alone and deserted. Once you were freed along came the me that made you bleed. Pulling scabs like the crab from yester year, right fucking here. I'm a bear over protect one to smother lover lined trees that shed leaves barren in vulnerability. Help! I want you free of me, pull the scab of me and bleed free of me. Grow wings from me and fly throughout the universal ocean fleeing me. Be rid of me. The cold ass breeze that brought you to your knees, me. You and me. You.


Born perfect. You deserve perfect. Born from a crack in the foundation you alone are a nation. Graceful power amidst the chaotic struggle. From a foundation that bleeds envy, greed and self pity. Beauty born torn from deep in me. Foundation of self pity and self victimization.  The hurdle and block. And so I'm off the path. No more harm to come from my phantom illusions of love and grandeur. Sun rises over the horizon. See the Poor Pitiful Pearl at the end of the harbor. See the sun come up over the horizon. To love you is enough. So dream and let it be. Create your beauty and be free of toxicity. Receive a constant flow of positive energy from the God that breathes.


Bless on you .... I bless all fucking over you cuz its all I can do is send love through earth, air and water to reach you. Stabbing pain of un-forgiveness at my breast. I can't forgive me, fully ever for the pain I've brought upon your life. How I've altered your spirit is unforgivable. The one beautiful creation I tried cremation. One day you'll be through beating the fuck outta you. I'm in the trees so shut the fuck up and feel the breeze and listen to me sing. I fucking love all over you and know its foreign soil. SO you erect a KORRIN WALL. Your right, make it real tall. I'm . . .


                                  Aboard the Pearl...
                                  Amidst the ocean. . .
                                  Flowing with the breeze ...
                                  I pray you free . . .
                                  Devine love flows. . .
                                  Direct to you.
                                  I leave you...
                                  Quantum love energy.

Thursday, September 29, 2016

Words in Tone

Forever effected by your afflictions
Rivers of words in tonal flow
In line with what you refuse to know
Words a flow
Flow down tone.






Saturday, May 21, 2016

A Rico Remedy

We've weathered many storms since my last remedy. . . . . . . .

        The universal mirror emulates a time forgotten. Confessing my deepest affliction. Its tenderness is as that of strawberries bruised and at their sweetest point. One bite gushing deliverance of water rushes over me. Hairs fully immersed, my head, neck, back and feet. Deep within this deluged cave's hidden a relief. Petrified to brave the journey I shall not retreat.

        Courageous admittance of debility prior to self sabotaging defeat. An honorary act of self love & humility rather than of self defeat. Coursing through me universal energy caps my head as forethought of construction form roofing above the bed. Nestle me under arm instead. Worlds apart unite one sight visioned with bridges full of delight.

        Embrace your grace. This is but a moment, a breath, so embrace sacred space. Birthing forward a time untold. So bold life as you wrap tight arms across breasts. . . and there she rests. Pressed together tight still and silent our breath and energies unite.

        Universal energy flowing freely as vulnerability meets inhibition. A fairy dust deluxe pulse throbs below and so i clench together my knees once more. And together we walk through the door. As divine creators covet their thrown. A remedy we have found once having lost our egos crown.  

        Yet to the wind I've blown ........KCR

Thursday, December 24, 2015

An Rx for change


        Good morning beautiful readers. It has been a tad bit over a month since I have created a post. An enormous amount of change has occurred in that time frame. All of it has been a part of the process of evolution and self awareness. Although most of it was initially hard and humiliating, its all accumulated to an enormous amount of growth. I realized many unhealthy realities about myself and have walked away from a few unhealthy people.


        I have been struggling emotionally and spiritually since the end of may. I see the time frame from then through the early part of November, as a very slow moving elevator ride down to a new bottom. A bottom of which would reveal its self as a much needed miracle. When I finally hit this new bottom it seems as though a veil had been lifted from my heart and light visible to my  eyes. There was one event in particular which occurred in the second week or so of November, that triggered a full blown panic attack, a full onset of anxiety and this event also revealed I had PTSD.


        I was not aware of this in the moment or in the week and a half following. Yet signs of these facts were evident and the universe, my God, our creator had been communicating with me where to place my footing next. The second week of November I realized my mind would continuously rehash things that were said and the looks on peoples faces that had been involved during that first weekend of November. In specification the phrase "there is nothing wrong with you. I don't ever worry about you", kept ringing uncontrollably between my ears. I couldn't understand why this was said because it had nothing to do with my question for clarity when it had been said.


        Nearly one week after that event, all this emotional psychological blender shit was nonstop and I  couldn't figure out why. I was nearly unsuccessful in recovering from it. I was frustrated with the way my mind was beginning to sound like I was insane. I asked for answers and I really did get them. I recall turning on the TV to divert my minds focus. When I did I heard PTSD talk. I decided that that was not something I wanted to watch or hear. Opened up the cable guide and surfed for a movie as I did this I muted the volume on the TV. I found a channel and hit enter. God presented yet another sign for me in the form of a commercial talking about anxiety disorder and panic attacks. Now I was even more frustrated. I muted it once again. In the silence I heard it again. PTSD and panic attacks.


        I was being shown the problem and I was not willing to consider that I was a candidate for any of these things. I have this generalized tape on panic attacks, anxiety and especially on PTSD. I thought that the only people who struggle with PTSD are military personnel. The other tape was on panic attacks. The image that pops into my mind when ever I hear about panic attacks is of a woman hyperventilating and calling a lot of attention to herself with noises and crazed body movements. Boy o boy was I way off.  I spent the next few days running around town seeking medical attention.


       That experience was like moving several mountains, as it was me putting forth the effort to be personally responsible for my own wellbeing, health and happiness. I blamed no one and left the responsibility up to non other than myself. I was humiliated on several occasions and turned away repeatedly. However, I was not deterred from seeking medical attention. I had my self respect to fight for and I was determined and motivated to do it while trusting the power within myself to carry me through. After all the universe had presented the problem in neon signs and in the form of tv as well as that still comforting voice. There was no denying. I also caved and researched signs and symptoms of the three things I had been shown. It was me that I was reading about. Almost exactly.


        I knew if I kept pressing on I would be provided for. So I did just that and exactly that is what I received. I climbed out of the pit I woke up in and when I did there was so much support offered, clarity given and medication enlisted. Today I am not fighting a battle I am creating a bright promising future, while being raised by a community that hides a wolf or two in its midst. I am back full force. I have no shame in taking medication to find balance. I am also learning about the triggers and learning how to cope with the panic attacks, managing anxiety and discovering the triggers for this thing called PTSD.




       I have also discovered that social media is not ok with me any more. Ive done away with most of the " Friends" on Facebook and haven't heard a word from any of them. Which proves to me my point in deleting. Social media provided a false sense of connection and friendship. The reality is there really is no connection its all just a dog and pony act.

Thank  you all for your support and patients.
Happy Holidays! Happy New Year & Merry Christmas!
Peace Be.
Your sister,
Korrine


 


       

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Learning to love .......SELF

       I've clued into my current path and the direction its taken me. For the past couple years I've been learning to let things go. Let go of people, addictions, bad habits, hurts, anger, self degradation and more. I think you get it. During this time frame poor choices, when it comes to love were evident. Self love, relational love, intimate love and . . . I'm sure you get the gist. The neon sign that God/ universe/ higher power, was holding up in my face was that it was time to start letting love in and learn how to stop pushing it away. BUT NOPE!!! I DIDNT GET IT! Relationship after relationship I recklessly abandoned my own well being. Humiliating.


         I discovered I was stuck in this vicious cycle of self degradation. AAhh!!! Still?! One relationship was blasting a neon light that said, "Korrine you have some serious issues with self deception, loyalty and integrity!" Did I see this at the time? Heck no! I was a volunteer victim. Stuck in the land of closed eyes while looking the other way saying  he cheated this and lied about that and so on. Ha ha! I laugh at how I chose to see back then. I'm still learning!! I was not willing to be fully accountable for my own wellbeing. Looking outside myself for acceptance, approval, grace and unconditional love. The dreaded words, "if only" were a regular part of my vocabulary. Words are powerful acts of creation!! Hello!


       One of my rules with myself while raising my daughters was to be sure I did not tell them they were bad or dirty etc. Some of this was definitely self projection. Poor girls. I forgive myself. Yes its that easy to create change. Start with the way you treat yourself, your words and the words you frequently hear, weather in your own conversation or the conversation you may be eves dropping in on. We are responsible for making ourselves feel worthy and valuable. Our loved ones are a support of the fact or can be a reflection of how we really feel about ourselves. They are not responsible for "making" us feel or do anything. That's finger pointing. There is a reason its being spotted/heard at that present moment. These truths may hurt but are meant to free us up out of stagnation.


      Break free of the monotony of Facebook games/stalking or the preverbal, "oh who text me", only to become upset because its not from who we wish to receive affirmation, discounting the divinity in the moments, which are providing what we deeply yearn for but are missing because we're too busy with our cell phones, Android watches, TV shows or simply too busy trying to make it happen. My fingers cramping, (Hows that big ass sentence a mirror to our lives?). Looking in all the wrong places and feeling worst in the end. The spiritual void grows and pretty soon we're back to being robots not even shitting in the moment while our source of energy is refueled mechanically and without passion automatically drawn to missing the moment, spending barrowed time on a wasted legacy. WTF is that?!?! Yet I still do it. I spot it because. . . .??


       The other relationship emphasized that I was abandoning myself. This time I was willing to see the truths before me. First I honored my self and soul by grieving the loss of a lie I had found a false sense of security, significance and control in and hurt from what id put myself through. Talking to others who lifted me up when I saw no end in the tunnel helped. I allowed my self to be soaked up like a cotton ball draws up moisture, when I was a sobbing mess. Trusting myself enough to feel and allowing that blessing to wash over me like a shower of rain in the jungle. Forgiving repeatedly myself and the other victim. Then clarity set in and there was no denying myself the truth revealed to me.


        Kudos to me for choosing to see and further more for taking action. Yes, I applaud myself because I am learning to love me. No one can love you the way you deeply desire. That deep desire is spotted by you in you because ........" you spot it you got it", in this case we are capable of loving ourselves the way we desire. Once we learn how to do this and are willing to see all the ways needing tweaking, the rest of the world seems a bit more at peace and the tsunami of your heart is more like a running river. We are the worlds first and best examples of how we like to be treated. By both the way we treat ourself and the way we treat others. Learned that from Lisa Nichols.  Ok, off the tangent. Maybe, I can never tell.


        I started to see that I clearly had no regard for my emotional safety, spiritual health and overall physical wellbeing. Looking to my recent history I see a lost broken woman stumbling around a mass pit with corpses scattered throughout it in various stages of decay. She's stumbling around for her shovel. What I realized with this relationship is that, although not as harshly as in the recent past, I was still recklessly abandoning these fruits I've been blessed with. I chose not to justify this with a complacent comment such as, " well at least I've progressed." No that's bull doo dooo! An excuse to be stagnant. No not me. I firmly believe that if I've spotted it its because its the next step in spiritual evolution(or something I have/ have yet to realize I've got.) and any hesitation that occurs "as a result of" this revelation is fearful ego and cowardly pride.


       I have no intention of sending the message that this is all easy. Its hard, challenging and uncomfortable and sometime when I unveil a negative tape I wasn't consciously aware of I can feel humiliation; which for me is like a sign that im being too hard on myself and a little self grace would be nice. To accomplish that I'd recall how hard I worked to not feel, blame others and self medicate. Took a but heaping of an effort to remember to try this and after a time this practice became just another  healthy way to process. I remember at that moment that I am learning to trust myself and that I am accountable for my wellbeing.


        The very act of revealing the negative tape or behavior is like winning a gold medal because we've just unveiled the key to changing the behavior.  I take all the nervous energy and use it to create new synopsis(action overriding the fear) within the emotion connected to the most impactful memory in relation; which has stifled the ability to relate that surge of emotion to a positive impactful experience. I hope this is clear to some one else. This is so new to me in personal experience that I'm still learning how to express this experience with clarity. God said we are creators and this is how I self create and then turn around and share my experience with you. I am you . We are the I AM.


        Ever feel like you have met your soul mate ahead of schedule? Maybe many life times before they were ready, yet you know how special you are that you believe and know in your soul that you are just that special. Special enough to have the rare opportunity to have met your twin soul, the flame that sets the world a tilt on its axis? Just asking.....ha ha. Ok I ask because I know I'm not alone in this divine experience. I want to hear about your experience of how you were thrust forward in your spiritual evolution. I want to hear how mountains were moved in you and cause a chain wave reaction throughout the universe. Geez! ok I'm back. Wind blew me. I am a feather going with the flow effortlessly.


       My overall point is that each and every life experience is our personal connection to our spirituality, our divinity, our creativity, our creator, the same creative energy source that keeps this globe a float. I love my self that much more when I chose to see the truth about the self. I love myself more when I chose to forgive. I love myself that much more when I forgive repeatedly. I love myself that much more when I refuse to point the finger and play victim. I love myself that much more when I allow my self the blessing of fully experiencing the moment. I love myself that much more when I chose feeling over reaction.   I love myself that much more when I chose to face my ego and pride. I love myself that much more when I chose to see what's before me. I love myself that much more when  I AM ACCOUNTABLE FOR MY OWN THOUGHTS, FEELINGS AND ACTIONS!!!


BTW....... I love talking about these experiences. This fires burn is self sufficient when its ambers are carried by the wind. KCR


Please... follow and share someone you know may need to read that they are aliens and that they are powerful creators.
Tee Hee. . . .